


Random Destiel Drabbles

by alrich



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Fluff, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-05
Updated: 2016-10-19
Packaged: 2018-05-31 12:56:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 5,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6470764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alrich/pseuds/alrich
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a bunch of random Destiel drabbles, all based on writing prompts that I use to help with writer's block. These aren't connected in any way. There may be smut, hence the rating.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Filled with anger, Dean threw himself on his bed, the tears welling in his eyes. He had tried so hard to get through to Cas. To let him know just how much Dean cares about him, needs him, _loves_ him. But freakin' Lucifer had to fuck everything up. And it was all Dean's fault. He was never there when Cas needed him the most. He was always taking him for granted. Always assumed they would be together forever. Now Dean was stuck alone with his thoughts, feeling like he was slowly suffocating. He just wanted his angel back. 

Cas let the tears fall; his eyes like waterfalls. Dean finally confessed his love. But it was too late. Cas had given up fighting; his grace quickly diminishing. With his last conscious thought, he breathed out, "And I love you too, Dean Winchester."


	2. Chapter 2

If you asked Castiel if he would ever fall for a mortal man, he would pointedly tell you that he wasn't capable of feeling emotion. But he fell for the Righteous Man; in every way. From the day he saved his soul, to the day he became human, his love for Dean only grew. Castiel had been alive for thousands of years, but never met anyone as breathtaking as Dean. He was everything Castiel aspired to be, everything he craved. 

He walked into their shared bedroom, Dean already tucked underneath the covers. Castiel smiled, watching Dean's chest rise and fall, snores escaping his open mouth. He looked peaceful, innocent. Castiel slid under the blankets and wrapped his arms around the man he loved. He nestled his nose against the back of Dean's neck, pressing a quick kiss to the top of his shoulders. 

"I will love you for all eternity, Dean Winchester. From this lifetime to the next, you will forever be mine." 

Dean stirred and turned to face the former angel, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead. 

"And you will always belong to me."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So smut happened. Really badly written smut. I apologize in advance.

There was a sudden rush of overwhelming anxiety as Castiel lay back on the bed, stark naked. He felt so exposed and vulnerable, yet he was impatient. Dean was slowly, tauntingly, unbuckling his belt. He pulled the leather strap loose and moved onto the bed. He straddled Castiel’s chest. 

“Hands over your head,” Dean ordered.

Castiel did as he was told, fully aware of what would happen if he disobeyed. Dean wrapped the belt around Castiel’s wrist twice, before knotting it. The belt was tight enough that Castiel couldn’t escape, but loose enough so that it wouldn’t dig into his flesh.

Dean dragged the tips of his fingers down Castiel’s arms and chest. He stopped to pinch each tender nipple, earning him soft moans. He traced down Castiel’s sides, rubbing his thumbs over sharp hipbones. 

“Mmm. You’re so beautiful. Spread out for me to enjoy. I can’t wait to take you apart,” Dean breathed over Castiel’s throbbing cock. 

“Dean...please,” Castiel whined. “I need you.”

Castiel's breath hitched as Dean dug his nails into Castiel's tender inner thighs. 

“Please what?” Dean commanded. 

“Please sir.” 

Dean took his time exploring Castiel's cock with his tongue. He achingly went over every solid inch, Castiel squirming underneath him. Without warning, Dean swallowed down as much of Castiel's cock as he could handle. He brought Castiel to the edge over and over, until Castiel's eyes filled with frustrated tears and he was gasping for breath. Dean popped his mouth off and with two strokes of his hand, Castiel came with a howl. 

Dean sat back on his heels and took in the view of the disheveled angel. He looked absolutely wrecked. Letting out a sigh of contentment, Dean leaned forward and removed the belt from Castiel's wrists. 

“You were amazing for me baby,” he whispered between tender kisses. “Thank you for letting me do this.” 

Dean grabbed the package of baby wipes he kept next to the bed and cleaned Castiel gingerly. He threw the wipes in the trash and climbed back onto the bed, pulling the man he loved close. Castiel shakingly wrapped his right arm around Dean’s waist and nuzzled his head under the hunters chin. Within minutes, Castiel drifted off into his own version of sleep. The sound of Castiel's steady breaths lulled Dean into a deep slumber, a smile spread across his face.


	4. Chapter 4

Dean walked toward Castiel’s bedroom, intending to check on his angel. 

_“Your angel?”_ his mind challenged. _“You can’t even work up the courage to tell him how you feel. You’re nothing but a coward. Not that it matters; he doesn’t want you in the same way you want him.”_

He pushed the negative thoughts away and swung open Castiel’s door. The room was pitch black, with the exception of a faint glow peeking around the mound of blankets that contained the angel. 

“Hey Cas? Are you alright? Haven’t seen you a few hours.”

Castiel unraveled himself from his comforter cocoon, a wide, gummy smile spreading across his face. Sam’s laptop was perched on his lap, undoubtedly playing something on Netflix. 

“I’m ok, Dean. Thank you for asking. Although I would very much enjoy your company.”

“Good. Well if you need…” Dean started to reply, before his mind processed what Castiel had said. “Y-you want me to j-join you? Like on your b-bed?”

Castiel rolled his eyes and patted the empty space next to him. Dean hesitated before slowly making his way onto the bed, his stomach flip-flopping the entire time. 

“W-what are you watching Cas?” Dean sputtered out.

“A documentary on animal mating rituals. It’s absolutely fascinating. Did you know that male clownfish can change their gender? Once they become female, they stay female for the rest of their lives. And cats can have multiple…”

Castiel’s words faded out as Dean became lost in his thoughts. He wanted to do nothing more than grab the sides of Castiel’s face and kiss him senseless. He wanted to card his fingers through Castiel’s thick, unruly hair. He wanted to feel the rough stubble brush against his palms. Wanted to taste every inch of Cas. 

“Dean?”

The sound of Castiel’s gravelly voice brought Dean back to the present. He locked eyes with the celestial being he craved. Before he could second guess himself, Dean leaned forward and gently pressed his lips to Castiel’s. The kiss only lasted a few seconds before Dean pulled away, an apology spilling out of his mouth. 

“Dean…”

Castiel pushed Dean back against the bed and crashed their lips together. They separated long enough for Castiel to finish breathing out his response.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this.”

“Well what the hell are you waiting for Cas?”

Castiel let out a chuckle and tangled his fingers in Dean's hair; their lips meeting again in sweet ecstasy.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Destiel with a side of Sammy.

“SAMMY!! BREAKFAST!!” Dean shouted from the kitchen.

He had just finished making the most epic breakfast spread ever. It was Sam’s birthday and Dean planned to make this day all about him. Well after Cas talked him into it. Cas had him wrapped around his finger; one warm look and Dean was putty in his hands. As Dean started carting the massive array of food into the war room, Cas was putting up the last of the decorations. 

“Don’t you think you went a little overboard Cas? Sam and I have never been big on birthdays.”

“I know,” Cas replied. “But things are different now. You have a home; a place in this world. It’s about time you started participating in “normal” festivities.”

“Come here, you big sap,” Dean sighed, pulling Cas into his arms. He went to plant a tender kiss on Cas’s lips, when he heard the distant shuffling of Sam’s feet. 

“Why are you guys up…” Sam stopped mid-sentence, mouth gaping in awe at the sight in front of him. Balloons, streamers, and confetti covered every available surface. One side of the table was overflowing with gifts, the other held Dean’s breakfast feast. Dean and Cas had separated, but remained close.

“Happy Birthday Sammy!” Dean cheerfully spoke, a huge grin spreading across his face. Sam’s eyes darted from the table, to the decorations, to the two men, eyes glistening with unspilt tears. He gathered both men into a rough hug and whispered a choked thank you. Sam pulled away and began to dig into bounty of food, Dean and Cas quickly following suit. 

They ate in relative silence, Sam on one side of the table; Dean and Cas on the other. Cas would occasionally brush his fingertips against Dean’s upper thigh, receiving soft sighs and penetrative stares in return. Sam intently watched them, growing more and more agitated as the meal drew to a close. Dean leaned in to whisper in Cas’s ear, when Sam finally snapped. 

“Would you two just fuck already? I’m so sick of you two dancing around each other. It’s ridiculous!” Sam spat, rising to his feet. 

“Sam, what are you talking about?” Cas replied, eyebrows knitting together. “Your brother and I have been engaging in coitus for almost 3 months now. You didn’t know?”

Sam’s jaw hung open, his eyes practically bulging of out their sockets. “You have been together for months now and didn’t bother to tell me?” 

“We assumed you knew Sammy. We haven't exactly been hiding it. And besides, it's not that big of a deal.” 

“Not that big of a deal? You’ve been smothering me with your sexual tension for years. You know how difficult it was to deal with your incessant staring and unnecessary touching? I was a step away from locking you both in a closet and forcing you to work everything out!” 

“I’m sorry I didn’t consult you about my sex life,” Dean replied with an eyeroll.

“That’s not what I meant,” Sam sighed. “I’m honestly really happy for you both. It’s about time you sorted out your feelings and got your shit together. You are meant for one…”

Dean jumped up from the table, his chair hitting the floor.

“TIME FOR PRESENTS!”


	6. Chapter 6

It started with Robin. The girl he promised to never leave.  
Then it was Cassie. The one he let get away; who wouldn't stay.  
Then there was Jo. The one he couldn’t save.  
Finally came Lisa. She was there when his entire world fell apart. 

Sure, there were other girls. But they were one time things. Robin, Cassie, Jo, Lisa. They were the ones who mattered. The ones who changed his life. The ones he would never forget. But as he reflected on his past loves, there was one common problem: 

They weren’t _him_.

That’s not to say he regretted those in his past. In fact, he held them in extremely high regard. They were capable of loving him, despite of his flaws. They saw only the good him. They believed in him when no one else would.

But Cas made him feel things he never thought possible. Cas was truly there for him, in a way few were. He could completely tear down Dean’s walls, leaving him utterly vulnerable; yet at the same time, leaving him feeling safe, loved, _complete_. 

When Cas wasn’t around, Dean felt lost and empty. Like a part of him had been torn away. It was only when they were together that Dean felt whole. It was in those moments that Dean knew he was meant to spend the rest of his life with Cas. 

As Dean rolled onto his side to face his sleeping angel, he knew that no matter what life threw at him, Cas would be there. Cas would love him unconditionally. Cas would never let him go. 

A warm smile spread across his face as he nuzzled in closer to his soulmate. Even the worst lives have their bright spots.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean's POV

Last night I dreamed of you. Your gruff voice. Your dark hair and your intense blue eyes. I dreamed of your plush lips and the gummy smile you reserved only for me. I dreamed of your intoxicating smell. Thunder and sunshine; o-zone and honey. 

I dreamed of your toned back. Your smooth chest and sharp hipbones. I dreamed of the breathtaking combination of lust and adoration in your eyes when we made love. I dreamed of the way you breathed my name in pleasure. 

I dreamed of the time we had together. The feeling of completeness. We were one. Unstoppable. You were everything I needed; wanted. 

Now that you're gone, I feel hollow, numb. Getting out of bed is a daily struggle. I've lost my place in this world. You were my entire being, my meaning in life. What's the point of being alive without you?


	8. Chapter 8

Because of him, the river is resting.

The endless waves of loathing have stopped.

The air is fresh, alive, full of possibilities. 

A calm has spread across the vast land. 

The taste of once distant dreams plays on his tongue as they slowly come to fruition. 

Fear is an enemy of the past. 

The current is brimming with bliss.

Passion flows through his veins. 

Tenderness makes his heart swell.

For the first time in his life, the future doesn’t terrify him. 

He’s hopeful, happy, loved, whole.

Because of him, life has taken on a new meaning.

A meaning that nothing can erode.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why I end so many of these with dialogue. Anyway, here's some Shipper Sam!

“Cas?!” 

Dean stomps down the hallway in search of the wayward angel. He lets out a heavy sigh and steps inside Castiel’s bedroom. 

“Any luck?” Dean speaks to Sam’s back. 

Sam turns, a thin book in his hands.

“No, but get this. Looks like Cas has a journal of some sort. There’s not much in it. He just writes about all the animals he comes across. Although there’s something about you on the last page.” 

A shit-eating grin spreads across Sam’s face as he passes the red leather-bound diary over. Dean quickly flips to the back; eyes widening as he carefully reads Castiel’s pinched handwriting. 

_“The sunlight dances across his chiseled face._  
_It illuminates his sparkling green eyes ___  
_and the delicate smattering of heavenly freckles._  
_It warms his tanned skin;_  
_highlights his faint wrinkles._  
_A slow breeze cards through his soft hair._  
_As he reaches for my hand, his face opens into a vast smile._  
_Together we ascend into the sky._  
_Me and my warrior; finally one." ___

___Dean’s heart pounds heavy in his chest and his breath escapes in shallow gasps. The book slides out of his hands, smacking against the floor._ _ _

___“Dean? Are you ok?” Sam waves a massive hand in front of his face._ _ _

___“I...I...”_ _ _

___“Sorry for disappearing. I wanted to watch the birds.” Castiel appears out of thin air, his squinty eyes popping open in terror at the sight of his journal at Dean’s feet._ _ _

___Sam turns to exit the suddenly cramped room._ _ _

___“I’m going to leave you two alone.” He closes the door behind him, his laughter filling the hallway._ _ _

___“Dean, I’m sorry if what I wrote made you uncomfortable. It was never…”_ _ _

___Castiel’s apology is cut short when Dean closes the short distance between them and gently presses their lips together. He places one hand on Castiel’s hip, the other tangling in his hair. Castiel wraps his arms around Dean’s waist, bringing them impossibly closer. The kiss deepens as they lose all sense of time._ _ _

___A few hours later, Sam cautiously opens Castiel’s door. A low chuckle escapes his throat at the sight of Dean and Castiel tangled around one another, both in a deep slumber._ _ _

___“It’s about damn time.”_ _ _


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Interrupting Sam is the best thing ever.

They say that love is a woman. That couldn’t be further from the truth. But to say love is a man wouldn’t be correct either. To Dean Winchester, love was a thousands-year-old angel. From the first day their eyes loDean felt like he was home. Everytime he gazed into those intense pools of blue, he lost a part of himself. 

He hadn’t felt a love so complete and selfless since his mother passed away. In fact, Castiel reminded Dean of his mother in many ways. He was always there for Dean, making sure he was taken care of. Providing the support he desperately craved. 

After Dean and Sam had saved Castiel from Lucifer, Dean had finally worked up the courage to express how he felt. It was not long after they brought Castiel home. The now former angel was sitting in the kitchen watching Dean prepare lunch. 

“How are you feeling Cas?”

“I’m ok. I feel extremely tired, but I am slowly losing my grace. It’s to be expected. Thank you again for letting me stay here.”

“You don’t have to thank me man. You’re family and this is your home. You belong here with us. With me.”

Castiel’s eyes expanded in a questioning gaze. “What do you mean?”

“I mean I can’t stand the thought of losing you. Not again. You’re important to me. I need you Cas,” Dean replied, moving to invade Castiel’s personal space. He brought a hand up to rest on Castiel’s right cheek. They locked eyes, gazing into each others souls. 

“So if you guys are done eye-fucking…” Sam stood in the doorway, jolting Dean and Castiel apart.

“What do you want Sam?” Dean practically growled. 

“I just wanted to check on our friend. Although it appears that classification doesn’t fit your relationship anymore.” 

Dean glared at Sam, wishing he had the power to smite people. 

“I’m fine Sam. Dean’s been very helpful; making sure I have everything I could possibly need,” Castiel interjected, gazing at the older hunter with complete adoration. 

“Well I'm always here for you Cas.” Sam patted the shorter man on the arm before exiting the room. 

Dean turned to face Castiel once he was sure Sam was gone, a wide grin spreading across his face. Without any hesitation, they both leaned in, lips meeting in a passionate kiss.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING:
> 
> Alcohol as a coping mechanism/Alcoholism, Depression, Suicide.
> 
> This is NOT a happy drabble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So when I started writing these, it was simply a way to work through writer's block. But I really enjoy writing about these two idiots. I can't promise to post on a set schedule, but I don't see myself stopping anytime soon. My goal is to post at least once a week, but I can't guarantee that.
> 
> As always, I hope you enjoy!!

Dean knew what he had done as soon as the door closed. There was no going back to the way things had been before. He managed to completely fuck up the one good thing he had going for him. Typical. It seemed everything he touched wilted and faded away. He stumbled into the library, missing the chair he had intended to sit in and landing hard on the ground. He went to take another swig of whiskey, only to find the bottle empty. He threw it across the room and watched it shatter into pieces. The tears quickly built in his eyes, blurring his vision. He curled into his side on the cold floor and wept himself to sleep. 

Castiel couldn't believe what just happened. Everything that he had done meant nothing. Fighting for him, protecting him, loving him. What a waste of time. Watching him throw it away on some random woman was gut wrenching. He thought things were going to be different. Ever since they sat down and discussed their mutual desire, things had changed. They were open with their emotions. He felt complete. But now there was a deep ache in Castiel's chest. Nothing could alleviate the pain. 

\----------

Dean awoke under a puddle of drool, a massive headache already pulsing through his head. After a moment of confusion, the memories of last night filled his mind. He and Castiel had gotten into a stupid argument. Castiel has wanted to join Dean and Sam on a hunt. Dean said no. Things were said that never should've been uttered. Dean stormed out of the bunker and drove to the nearest bar, where he proceeded to drink himself into oblivion. A well endowed blonde had caught his eye and they soon exited the bar together. That’s when everything went to shit. 

\----------

“Dean, Cas is gone.” 

Sam’s words cut through Dean’s heart, slicing it into millions of pieces. He fought to catch his breath, his chest caving in. He could no longer control his tears as they flooded his face. He wrapped his arms around himself and shut out the world. 

\----------

Months passed and still, there was no word from Castiel. Prayers went unanswered, as did phone calls and texts. It was like he truly vanished. Everyday was a struggle for Dean and Sam did his best to help in any way he could. But he was a poor replacement for the man Dean assumed he would spend the rest of his life with. 

As the one year anniversary of Dean’s biggest fuck-up ever arrived, he decided he had enough. He waited until Sam went to bed, then hopped into his car and drove. He drove until he was thousands of miles away from the bunker. He found an abandoned farm on the side of a barren road and pulled in. He walked inside and collapsed to his knees. The burden on his heart was too much to bear. He couldn’t live in a world without Cas. He pulled out a gun he knew Sam wouldn’t miss. He pressed it to his right temple and with one shot, he was gone.


	12. Chapter 12

_Shitty weather, shitty hunt, shitty day, shitty life._

Dean stomped through the bunker, soaked to the bone. As if the nest of vamps wasn’t bad enough, the damn rain decided to hold off until he was climbing out of his car. He swung open their bedroom door, silently cursing his existence. Castiel was propped against the headboard, lost in the novel he was reading. Dean’s grimace turned into a fond smile as he took in the sight. Castiel closed the book and faced Dean with a smirk. 

“How was the hunt?”

“Messy and aggravating, but easy,” Dean replied as he began to strip himself of his clothes, throwing the damp articles on the bedside chair. 

A shiver ran down his spine as the cool air of the bunker hit his bare skin. Castiel used his mojo to make a warm towel appear on the arm of the chair. Dean quickly dried his body before slipping into his side of the bed. Castiel turned to wrap his human in his arms. 

“You’re freezing,” Castiel breathed as Dean shuddered yet again. “I know just how to warm you up.”

Dean let out a content sigh as Castiel slid on top of him and began to pepper every inch of his body in light, tender kisses. All negative thoughts escaped Dean’s mind as Castiel’s mouth made it’s way to his rapidly filling cock. Castiel's skilled tongue quickly brought Dean to completion. As they tangled their limbs together, Dean let out a low chuckle. 

“What are you laughing about?” Castiel murmured into the other man’s neck. 

“I don't know what I did to deserve someone as caring and selfless as you. You're the best thing to ever happen to me Cas.” 

“I love you too Dean.” Castiel pressed a delicate kiss to Dean’s full lips and pulled him impossibly closer. Dean soon slipped into a deep slumber as Castiel traced his fingers across Dean’s chest; a warm smile spread across his face.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look! I finally posted another drabble. So life has been really shitty lately so I apologize for taking well over a month to post something new. I know I had said I would post new drabbles weekly, but life is a massive whore so I can't guarantee anything. I apologize profusely. 
> 
> \------
> 
> As always I hope you enjoy! 
> 
> \------
> 
> *A special thank you to everyone who has left me kudos and/or comments. I'm beyond happy that people actually enjoy my mediocre writing.*

Dean paced outside the seedy bar waiting for Castiel to arrive. A steady mantra of “it’s not a date” echoed through his mind. His sweaty palms and nervous jitters said otherwise. After what seemed like eons, the Lincoln’s headlights came into view, illuminating the dirt parking lot. Dean wiped his damp hands down the front of his pants and took a deep breath as he approached Castiel’s car. An inviting smile spread across Castiel’s face as he climbed out. 

“Hello Dean.”

A deep blush burned Dean’s cheeks as Castiel’s voice ran it’s course of destruction through his veins. A shiver ran down his spine at the thought of being tied to his bed, Castiel leaning over him breathing dirty promises into his skin...Stop! This is nothing more than two friends meeting up for some beers. Friends being the operative word. Just two friends who can’t seem to stop touching one another and staring deep into each other's eyes. Two completely straight friends. No gay urges here. Just two buddies having a relaxing night. 

Dean was startled out of his thoughts by Castiel moving into his personal space and lightly placing his hand on Dean’s forehead. 

“Are you ok? You’re very pale.”

Dean closed his eyes and drew in a shallow breath before replying with a faint “no.” Castiel cocked his head; his eyes narrowing as he stared at Dean in confusion. 

“I don’t understand. What’s wrong? Do you feel ill?”

Dean locked eyes with his angel, finding nothing but pure concern and adoration. Those brief seconds gave him the courage to speak what had been haunting him for years.

“It’s not...I’m not sick Cas. It’s just....I need you man.”

The words hung thick in the air, slowly stifling everything around them. The engulfing stillness was finally broken as Castiel leaned forward and placed a shadow of a kiss to Dean’s plush lips. 

“And I need you Dean.”

Dean placed his hands on Castiel’s hips, pulling him forward into a quick, yet heated kiss before separating. Dean released his grip, only to have Castiel grab ahold of his right hand and interlock their fingers. They shared an intimate smile before walking towards the entrance of the bar. The previously crisp air seemed to warm as the love radiated from their bodies into the night sky. For the first time in forever, Dean felt like everything would be ok.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, another update! As always, I hope you enjoy!

The cool air dances across Castiel’s tanned flesh. The steady hum of cicadas fills his ears as he watches the moonlight flicker across the smooth planes of the small lake. He tilts his head to glance at the stars shimmering across the ink sky. A subtle hum crawls through his throat and he closes his eyes in contemplation. He recalls the seemingly infinite occasions Dean was brought to him and then taken away. All the instances where poor choices led to hostile confrontations and distraught reconciliations. Yet every time they were torn apart, some unknown force brought them back together. Stronger and further connected. A small smile eases across Castiel’s face; his eyes twinkling in fondness. He’s jostled out of his trip down memory lane by the sound of the sliding door and his very naked now-husband slinking behind him and gliding his hands across his solid chest. 

“Are you coming to bed?” Dean’s breath ghosts over Castiel’s left ear. 

Castiel angles his head and captures the corner of Dean’s mouth. “I’ll be in soon,” his voice just above a whisper. 

“Don’t take too long; I’m not done with you yet.” Dean turns him around and brushes their lips together, before sauntering back into the cabin with a wink. Castiel lets out a low chuckle and faces the lake once more. He breathes in the feeling of calm and security. The feeling of respect and trust. He silently sends thanks to his father before heading back inside. Castiel may have once been an angel, but no amount of grace and heavenly power will ever compare to the warmth and unconditional love provided by the man he could never lose.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Partially inspired by the song Faded by Alan Walker. This was written in less than hour and probably sucks, but I hope you enjoy anyway!

"I can't do this Dean. I'm sorry." 

There's a slight ripple in the bunker's controlled airflow as Castiel disappears before everything stills. Time stops and the air becomes suffocating as Dean struggles to hold back the tears that threaten to fall. He jabs his palms into his eyes in the hopes that it'll wake him out of this self-induced nightmare, but he's fucked. This is his new reality. 

A few hours later, Sam finds Dean in his room, laying prone on the mattress, staring at everything and nothing at the same time. He gently eases his way into the room, taking note of the trace of hostility lining his brothers face. Sam hovers at the end of the bed and eventually speaks to Dean like he’s a wounded animal. "Where's Cas? I thought you two were going out?" 

Dean looks blankly at Sam, hurt building in his eyes. “He...he left.” A slight grimace outlines Sam’s face as he carefully speaks. “You want to talk about it?” A tear escapes Dean’s left eye and traces a slick path across his temple. What seems like an eternity passes before Dean whispers out a response: “I fucked up.” 

Sam opens his mouth to begin his litany of questions when he feels a strong hand grip his right shoulder. He turns to face Castiel with a questioning glance and is met with a forceful look. Sam quickly scurries out of the room, like a disciplined child, leaving Dean and Castiel alone. Dean opens his mouth to begin apologizing, but Castiel cuts him off. “You have nothing to apologize for Dean. I shouldn’t have left just because we had a simple disagreement.” He moves over to the left side of the bed and carefully perches on the edge. He laces his fingers together in his lap and stares at the wall.

“I know you have issues being _open_ about our relationship in public. Be it because of your fear of appearing less masculine or because of something your father had instilled in you, I’m not sure. But I do know that you care deeply about me, as I do you. I’m sorry for lashing out; I’m sorry for leaving. I know you’re even more terrified about this newfound bond than I am. I know I promised to be understanding if things got to be overwhelming for you. But please know Dean, I never meant to hurt you.” 

Castiel turns to face Dean, only to be met with the soft press of his lips. Dean caresses Castiel’s cheek as he pulls away. “We are so fucked up,” Dean lets out with a chuckle. “But I would rather be damaged with you. I need you Cas. Always will,” he breathes out, pulling Castiel into another kiss that spells out all the ways they are meant to be.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! When I made the decision to post my little stories, I honestly didn't think anyone was going to read them. I am so thankful for every kudos and every hit this receives. Thank you all so much and I hope you enjoy!

Something moved beneath the surface of Dean's pain. Understanding, but more so acceptance. Cas was gone; and he wasn't coming back. The knowledge still clawed his heart to shreds but he realized that he could move past it. He could live without Cas. The deep rumbling of the Impala soothed the ache; Sam's soft snores stitched up the wounds. In that small patch of Texas highway, Dean became whole again. Safe in the knowledge that a small part of Cas would always be with him. As he pulled over onto the side of the road, a small smile spread across his face as he looked towards the stars. 

_I'll see you soon Cas._


End file.
